During my first few years of teaching I would get sick every time we had a break. It's like I could hold it together because I had to, but then when I could rest my body would just fall apart. This happened almost as soon as Mothership and I got on an airplane to Europe during the mid-winter break of my second year of teaching. I coughed and sniffled my way through the Tower of London, The Louvre, Notre Dam, The Muse D'Orsay...etc.
Perhaps that is what is happening now only it isn't so much a physical sickness, since I am (other than the lack of rest) taking pretty good care of myself. Well, I take that back. Now that I see it in writing I have to face the fact that it simply isn't true. The truth is that perhaps in comparison to many other people, I have been taking good care of myself. But I am not other people and the reality is that I require some extra care. I don't know why (maybe I have my parents to blame for this one) but I have a delicate system. I don't just eat healthfully because it is "what is right," I do it because if I don't then I feel like crap. And, truth be told, I require at least 8 hours of sleep each night (this one I cannot blame on Dad, since he can do 4 or 5 most nights and be fine...Mom can easily sleep 12 a night, though). If I don't eat enough (which has been the case lately) then my blood sugar levels get really low and it impacts both my mood and my sense of physical well-being, which right now feels shot.
OK, so I've established that I am possibly feeling so crappy not only for emotional reasons, but for physical ones as well. It really is the whole chicken-and-egg thing...not to be too cliche, but "I don't eat because I don't feel good, then I don't feel good because I don't eat"...or was it the other way around?
Today is CD 5
"I have spread my dreams beneath your feet. Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams." -W.B. Yeats
What a nice quote, I like that one a lot.
I am home "early" today. Oh, I read something yesterday that was a throw-back to my New Age/Metaphysical days (not that they are totally behind me, but back in my hippy college days I was pretty into all of that stuff) and it made me think about the power of our words. So today I was thoughtful about the words I use and paid attention to how I answer people when they ask me how I am and stuff. Sure, the answer is that I am tired and feel like crap. But does it really help to go on and on about it? I just thought of it because I did leave work at a reasonable time today (it wasn't technically anywhere near early). I was in Sheri's office just before I left and when I said goodbye she said something nice and positive about me leaving then.