baby brain

I did that thing on my drive in to work today where I start counting up the days/months in the "if I got pregnant in ______ (insert month such as January, February, March...) then..." and I figure out when the pregnancy milestones would most likely take place.
Due to the fact that I have had almost a year to think about what a new pregnancy could have in store (considering the IC) I have got my brain all wrapped around this idea that...

I will have a couple months where I can behave normally (during this time I will also be afraid of miscarriage) before starting to worry that my cervix will begin to shorten and/or funnel or dialate before...

...the cerclage is placed at about 13 or 14 weeks. I am scared of the surgery and of the possibility of infection and anything else that might go wrong. After the cerclage surgery I will be on bedrest for perhaps a week.

And then...it is a bit of a mystery because it all depends on how my cervix does. I will most definately be off my feet and resting as much as possible. And my worry is that the doctor won't put me on bedrest even if my cervix begins to act up, as many doctors are slow to prescribe bedrest. So with this in mind I am inclined to time the pregnancy so that I am on Summer Break during the "danger time," which is from week 18 until week 24. Actually it isn't as though I will be out of danger after week 24--it isn't as though the cervix all of the sudden becomes strong at that point. But that is when the sweet little baby reaches "viability" and has a good chance of surviving if born. Of course no one wants a baby to be born that early, so I will continue to be careful regardless of how the pregnancy has gone up to that point.

And what if it isn't even my cervix? What if I have an irritable uterus? What if I have both?

Less than two weeks now until I see the Peri, Dr. B, and hopefully she will have some answers for me. One of the big burning questions right now is whether or not I really need to go off of the pill for a couple of cycles before TTC. Only 5 pills left in my pack.

I guess I will mention work, since I was dreading it. I will try to keep it short, since it is boring even to myself. I was busy the whole time and didn't even get my desk cleaned off. I am so far away from where I wanted things to be with my art classes that I don't even have the energy to...well even to write much about it. At least my intro. students are making great paintings and my AP students are making really cool deconstructed books. My poor painting students are all so sadly behind...they started their self-portraits today finally and I am so hoping that they will be successful. Sheri came in to tell me that the planning day for the 9th Grade Advisory team she had set-up subs for this month isn't going to happen until next month! Yikes! But it really isn't that bad because Angie came to my rescue today and helped big time by getting all of the paper work virtually completed for the College visit and she even called and left a message with the woman at Seattle Pacific University! She really is amazing, because she did all of that out of the kindness of her own heart. And we did find out today that she and I will get a planning day on the 17th and some extra pay for our Service Learning work that we are doing. Which was an unexpected good thing. I could go on about all of the minutae, but enough is enough.