I feel like I am at a "tipping point"

...one of those places in my life where things can go one way or another, both polar opposites.

My intentions are toward balance between work and the rest of my life, nurturing my body and spirit, and accomplishing all of the mundane tasks on my "To Do before TTC" list.

But then there is the prospect of falling deep into the pit of too much work and operating in (barely) survival-mode breathing down my neck, which is where I was all last week and the week before. Oh sure, I can justify WHY things have been the way they have been--grades due, nearing the end of the semester/units of study (the Film Festival is coming up quickly), blah, blah, blah...

I've been able to work like that for so long because it was just me that I was cheating...keeping myself from having a normal, enjoyable life. But in two months I want to run another marathon, and then I want to make a baby. I absolutely cannot do either if my body isn't in top shape. And there is no way to get it there without spending a lot of time taking good care of myself. Rest is a really big part of that.

And I am not feeling so hot right now.

Erin and I ran this morning. It was COLD outside. Ice and frost on the ground and my body hurt from it. We were supposed to run 12 miles, but just after the 3 mile marker on the way back in (so after mile 9) we both agreed that it wouldn't be a 12 miler today. Her foot is still hurting. For me, today, it was my left achilles tendon. This is new. My left knee and right hip were a bit sore as well, and everything else was what we have come to refer to as "creeky." So we stopped at mile marker 2 and walked the last 2 miles. After less than a mile of that I was really wishing that I could just run! It was so cold! I kept cursing, trying to walk as fast as I could. It was too cold to stretch, we just got into my car (after I fumbled with the key and the door) and after a few minutes I managed to get the car started, a few minutes more until I was able to get my seat belt clicked. Pathetic! Ok, so part of today's crappy performance was the ungodly cold temp., but it was also due to the fact that I didn't run all week. I worked like crazy every day.

I need to go to the running store and see if I can get some of those silly legwarmer things. And I will wear my stocking cap and gloves next time I run in the freakin' cold.

We had an intense wind storm Thursday night and it nocked out power all over the area. Luckily, our neighborhood was spared, but school was cancelled. This meant that I got to sleep in yesterday. I slept until 11:00! Then I spent most of the day cleaning my house. It is so nice and cozy when it is clean. And it looks so pretty right now, decorated for Christmas. I swear, no matter what, I am going to get a REAL tree next year. My little tree looks cute, though. I have it on a table in the corner of the living room and it is covered in ornaments and beads.

Now I get to revisit those research papers. I have been avoiding them...it just sucks so bad. Why do I teach humanities, anyway? Oh yah, because I care.