Tuesday, March 6, 2007

celebration, denial, sadness...hope

I finished the secret project!!!!! It ended up being my primary occupation for most of the day on Sunday--what a nice way to spend the day. Because it is a surprise for Joleen, it has to stay a secret for a while longer. But I can't help myself, I am taking pictures before I send it away in the mail...so I'll post them eventually.

Once in a while I wish denial would work. The sore throat that I wanted to believe was caused by the house being "too hot" while I was sleeping is sticking around and today the stuffy nose kicked in, too. I'm a little embarassed to admit this but the one bright spot about having a cold is taking Thera Flu. I share an unnatural affinity for Thera Flu with my sister. Her's is stronger than mine, though, and she takes the stuff even when she isn't sick sometimes to enjoy that intense drowsy feeling.

I woke up feeling overwhelmingly sad yesterday. I hate that. I hate how sometimes the feelings just overtake me like that.

Today was much better, but it ended up being one of those pregnant-ladies-and-babies-everywhere days. OK, one particular pregnant lady and one specific baby...but still. The pregnant lady was this woman I work with. After school I had to attend a WASL training (our state test, which starts next week, requires by law that all proctors attend official trainings...ugh). I was sitting in the back with a view of the door. About five minutes into the training in walks this woman. She is petite (size zero type) and bigger than life was her pregnant belly--approximately six months. The thing is, she was pregnant when I was pregnant with William, her baby boy was born last January. Now she is due to have number two soon. Number one was a surprise, I wonder if this one was, too. The baby was in Target and I swear that wherever I went, so went this young mom who was carrying this tiny infant in her arms while she shopped. Seriously, she was even at the check-out at the same time as me. It wasn't awful, though. I am happy for the pregnant woman. My brother and I are even closer in age than her babies will be, and I think it is great when families have kids close together. And the baby at Target was so beautiful, so sweet. Listening to it's crys and coos was hard, though.

1 comment:

KMW said...

I remember that feeling so much I can still taste it. Pregnant women were the hardest, hardest part for me. Harder than even babies--probably because I could relate to pregnancy, all the lost hopes, but I hadn't had a baby yet. In any case, I have so much hope for you that everything will work out.Really. Sorry it didn't take this month. Hang in there!