a look back

Something similar to what Kristin wrote about recently in a post titled
balance occurred between me and Mr. C on New Year's Eve. I didn't say anything negative about the year we were saying good bye to, but he raved about how wonderful it was. At first I thought, "was he living the same life as I was?" But then as I listened to him review the year I realized that he was right. 2007 did bring us lots and lots of good. Much of it was painful in the getting there, but we got there.

I've seen other bloggers do this sort of look back on the year that has just passed and I wondered what it might reveal to me if I did the same. I tried to find the post from the first of each month, although there were a few times when I had to select the post from the date closest to the first of each month.

MONDAY, JANUARY 1, 2007
And a Happy New Year!
"It is now 2007 and I am so happy that 2006 is history."

This speaks for itself.
__________
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2007
flowers for our William
"We took it easy today and did things at a pretty slow pace, so our trip to the cemetery was later than we had originally planned."

This was the one-year anniversary of William's birth/death.
__________
THURSDAY, MARCH 1, 2007
the last link
"The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen." -Frank Loyd Wright

We had intended to begin TTC in February, but the plan changed. I had created a chain with links for each day in my cycle. Each link contained a quote that I had selected.
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FRIDAY, MARCH 30, 2007
such good news!
"Happy, happy, happiest of news today! 

My friend and her baby girl are doing well!"

Mrs. MacGyver over at Pyjama Mummy gave birth to her Li'l Miss. I knew she had gone into labor but it took a few days to hear from her and I was elated to know that all was well.
__________
WEDNESDAY, MAY 2, 2007
pathetic me
"I'm trying not to get worked-up over this, and really am a bit embarrassed that I am even posting about it, but my cycle is wack."

Even though we weren't TTC I was paying attention to (obsessing about) my cycles since in the past they have been irregular (and, of course, every little oddity seemed like a sure sign that something was terribly wrong).
__________
FRIDAY, JUNE 1, 2007
totally frivolous things
"Quite a while back (really I am not sure how long ago, so it was long enough for me to forget, which must indicate a significant amount of time) I got lost in blog things."

Sometimes frivolous things are nice.
__________
SUNDAY, JULY 1, 2007
our little buddy
"It seems that there has been a change of heart here."

The raccoon, who Mr. C had initially responded to with great distain, somehow won herself into his heart. He later named her Linda and she and her babies visited regularly until we moved away.
__________
TUESDAY, JULY 31, 2007
never a dull moment
"Well I am back from Chicago."

This post described the events of my birthday, trip to Chicago, and the destruction of BOTH of our vehicles while I was away. Looking back I see the time surrounding my birthday and this trip as a turning-point for us. I sensed it at the time, but there was no way I could have written that then. Oh, and if you have never shot a gun, it is really fun. Something I suggest trying at least once.
__________
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2007
fucked-up
"....really, just too many drinks to count."

Ah...this was the night of the bachelorette party. I had fun.
_________
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2007
finally making some time to write
"The days are beginning to blur into each other."

My writing had fallen off significantly as we prepared to move--there literally was no time to write.
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SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2007
Our Gracie
"look what found us at the B.est W.estern two weekends ago!"


We still marvel at how this dog that is so perfect for us just walked (bounded) into our lives. We are so lucky.
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FRIDAY, DECEMBER 7, 2007
the countdown starts
"I picked up my last month of prescriptions at the pharmacy yesterday."

It took a lot of courage to write this post. That magical thinking is some powerful stuff, and it is scary to openly express my hope for the future.
__________

Going back through my blog to find these posts brought back many memories. I was struck by how much pain I was in--how I buried myself in my work and felt so frequently the overwhelming desire to push pause on life and disengage. I was also struck by how, in times when I honestly didn't feel like there was anyone I could turn to, I was able to write and receive amazing support.

I want to say thank you to those of you out there who took the time to comment. Sometimes your words made me feel better and sometimes they offered some practical advice or a much-needed fresh perspective, but they always made me feel a sense of connection.

And I want to say thank you to all of you for writing your blogs. Through your writing and sharing I have found hope, inspiration, humor, and encouragement. I have such a deep admiration for all of you--for the unique beauty that each of you possess and for the love, compassion, and kindness that you show to each other.