the countdown starts

I picked up my last month of prescriptions at the pharmacy yesterday. While missing the little pill the other day made for a "sadly unfunctional" day, I believe that was largely due to the fact that I was caught off-guard and wasn't prepared for the physical reactions. Over the past few months I have developed practices that I know abate my anxiety and will be invaluable in the future. Most significantly is my daily meditation practice--this is so powerful. Right now there aren't really any situations or circumstances that are cause for stress or anxiety (imagine that!). But the absence of legitimate or "big" causes for stress or anxiety didn't necessarily preclude my experiencing anxiety in the past.

And then there is the other prescription...

I am uncomfortable about writing about it. I realize it is magical thinking that is causing this discomfort. Eleanor Roosevelt once said that you should do one thing each day that scares you, so I can just do this. (All the while I do realize that it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out, but that really isn't the point.)

We are ready to start trying. We have been ready for a few months now, but have had to wait for insurance to kick-in since the move. I don't plan to have a daily record of our path, regardless of how long or how short it might be, so that is all I will say about it for now.

And since I am sharing good news, here is some more: we are shopping for a house! We were pre-approved for a home loan this week and are happily looking around for the one that is right for us. Yay!

Gracie is doing very well. We will attend obedience classes soon, although we have already started our own training. She will sit, shake, and go down to the floor on command (but not when she is excited or distracted). And she is getting better at walking next to us rather than pulling us along. She loves all other animals, including the cats. The cats, however, don't really love her. Jackson growls at her whenever she comes near him. Gracie chases Cleo around, with her tail wagging like crazy because she just wants to play. Since Cleo is so fat we just let it happen, figuring the exercise will do her some good.

The fishees aren't doing so well. We had a tropical tank set up a few years ago and didn't lose any fish, so I thought I knew what I was doing. Apparently that was beginner's luck, though. This time Mr. C didn't hold back and bought a whole mess of fish and now they are dropping like flies. Or, more accurately, they are dropping like fish who are being poisoned by nitrite. Now I know. It's too bad so many beautiful little fishees had to die in order for me to become so knowledgeable about healthy bacteria and all that.

My days are so full. Lately I've become a night owl, though. What a luxury it is to be able to go to sleep without setting the alarm clock. The resident that was here moved to one of the other homes that has a 24 hour awake staff. Since then it has been one project after another for me and I am loving it. I also spend a lot of time with our residents--going on outings with them, helping out on "spa day," sharing meals, and just visiting with them. Tomorrow we are going to the mall so they can shop for Christmas presents.