baby steps

I'll share the good news first: I got to see the little one today and I am measuring right at date (6 weeks 2 days) and even got to see the flickering heartbeat. And the ultrasound technician was WONDERFUL.

My first appointment isn't scheduled until this coming Monday, but they ordered an ultrasound today because over the past 10 days I have had three incidents of spotting. Until this morning it happened on the weekends, so each time I talked to an on-call doctor. Both times they told me pretty much the same thing--that since it was a scant amount and brown blood, it was probably implantation bleeding. And that is what my Doctor told me today as well after he saw the results of the ultrasound.

I hate being scared. I hate not really believing that this will all work out.

What I am so grateful for is that I have my own covert team of medical professionals on my side who order labs for me and have the ability to get me in even on the weekend when everything is closed to get an HCG level, stat. Seeing that high number last Saturday and the number continuing to go up on Monday helped me to breathe a little easier. So much so that when I saw the spotting this morning I didn't break into a cold sweat (like I did the first time, last Sunday) or cry and cry, certain it was all over (like I did the second time, this Saturday). Instead I kept my wits about me and calmly called my Doctor's office. And I am full of gratitude that I have found a practice where I am treated so well and with such expedience.

Thank you to everyone for your kind and thoughtful comments. Your words of encouragement have been part of what has helped me to move forward each day.