twenty-eight weeks

I saw the Peri again last week and my cervix is still holding strong. Unfortunately I got the grumpy sonographer and on top of that she took me into the "little" room, so I couldn't even see the Little Guy since the room doesn't have the second monitor and she didn't turn her screen toward me. I was feeling passive so I didn't say anything. Mothership will be with me for my next appointment and she will most certainly speak up if a similar situation presents itself.

Getting to 28 weeks is a huge milestone, one that felt so far away and so unattainable for such a long time I could hardly let myself think much about it. My paper chain has only two links on it now, since I was only able to go as far as 30 weeks when I made it. 40 weeks was too daunting and I told myself that 30 was enough. At the first visit with the Peri he told me that he would love to see me make it to 30 weeks, so I guess that reinforced setting it as my "big" goal. At this last visit he told me that we are in much safer territory now, especially since I haven't shown any cervical changes. It is so nice to see him being so optimistic, because he sure was a downer during those early weeks.

I still have some difficult times, when I worry that something terrible is about to happen. Fortunately there always seems to be some logical reason for any troubling symptom I am experiencing. And the Little Guy cooperates with a kick or a jab (or what sometimes feels like jumping jacks) to let me know he is doing well in there. For the most part I am doing well emotionally, too, but every now and then I find that I just need to cry and get it out.

Tomorrow I will call about childbirth classes. I've done some research into the available offerings and feel like I know what direction I want to take. First I checked into the two hospitals where I may deliver, just to see what they have, but I wasn't impressed by either option. I am very interested in hypnobirthing, though, so I called one of two women in my area who were listed on the web as certified teachers. The first woman I called said she isn't currently teaching, but referred me to a woman who is a doula and also teaches childbirth classes using the Birthing from Within philosophy. I looked at her web site and really liked what I saw. So I think what I would like to do is take her 6 week course (hopefully she is offering one that fits into my timeframe) and do the hypnobirthing home study course.

Oh and the hospital situation is one that I will have to deal with sometime soon as well. I chose my OB because he has specialties in high-risk pregnancy as well as infertility. I feel that I chose very well, except for the fact that he delivers at the hospital where I'd rather not have the baby. The hospital I prefer happens to be the one with the state-of-the-art NICU, so I guess I figured that I'd end up delivering there anyway. Now that the possibility of a full-term pregnancy is looking more and more realistic, it seems that I am going to have to figure this out. My OB can deliver at both hospitals, but he is employed by the one I don't like (as are his nurses, etc.) so he only delivers at the other hospital when it is before 37 weeks. Any advice on how to deal with this would be much appreciated.

Mothership is coming home tomorrow from another trip to France. She allowed for a day or two in Paris at the start of her trip before going to stay with her parents, so she could do some shopping, and asked me if there was anything special she could get for me. I think she was hoping that I would ask her to look for things for the baby because when I did she became very animated. It made me feel good to see her so happy and excited. I'm looking forward to seeing what she comes back with.