Monday, September 24, 2007

Don't worry, we won't forget to take you with us



I couldn't resist taking this picture. Jackson is very out-of-sorts right now due to the move. So far he is still here at the house but tomorrow we will move almost everything else. He and Cleo will remain for a few more days, along with an air mattress and a few essentials since I am "urban camping" until Wednesday. I am worried about how things will be for sweet Jackson when we actually move him. He didn't handle the move to West Seattle well, and that was only a fifteen minute car ride. This time it will be more like 4 hours and then a few days at the Kitty Hilton. Poor little guy. I've considered trying to get him something from the vet, but honestly a trip to the vet would be comparable in terms of trauma for him.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

the secret project

Monica H. brought it to my attention that I left a bit of a mystery floating out there in my blog. This was not intentional. I was keeping the secret project a secret because my dear friend was also a loyal reader of the blog and I wanted to keep the secret from her until it arrived on her doorstep. I sent it along a little early and I'm glad I did because her sweet baby girl showed up early too. It can be difficult to photograph things like this and really capture an adequate likeness. I don't have the best digital camera, either. At any rate, here are some of the pages and some details. Maybe at some point soon Mrs. MacGyver will post some pictures on her blog with the little lady and the rest of the family filling up the blank spots (hint, hint).
















for Sheri

I'm on my way out the door to take these paintings to Sheri. I am wondering if she will like them. I'll know in a while:)





Sunday, September 2, 2007

fucked-up

....really, just too many drinks to count. I suppose if I worked really hard I could sort it out and come up with a number that is pretty close to accurate. No, I am not a drinker. But it was a bachelorette party and I saw it as my duty to drink along with the bride-to-be. Honestly it felt like the first glass of wine did me in...I just kept going with the flow and it really is amazing how people will keep buying a girl drinks.

This is not at all how I pictured my return to posting. The trouble is that so much time has passed. Many posts have bubbled-up into my consciousness and all of the thoughts and ideas that have fluttered through my mind are so varied. Please excuse me, it is a wonder I am able to type at all right now.

What I mean to say is that I am here and I am ok. It is just that I haven't been able to post because time just gets away with me. My days are filled with appointments and tasks and meditating and painting and yes I do find time to flip open the laptop but I find myself unable to comment when I do catch up on blogs because I know that time is precious and how If I allow myself it dissappears on me and also there is the feeling that I get that if I comment on one blog then I will feel like I need to comment on all of them...because I care about all of you and don't want you to think otherwise.

So I resolve to write a bit each day. Just a bit. And to all of you out there, I think about you so much. I will comment on your blogs to let you know that "in person." Yes, I am ok... very well, in fact. And see how brazenly I tempt fate by writing it down in black and white? Wow. But "very well" does not mean "perfect" because that simply does not exist.

OK, I know I am leaving this half-way thought-out...but this is as good as I can muster right now.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

There has been so much going on both internally and externally lately that it is difficult to know where to begin. Backing up and running through things chronologically somehow feels wrong, since comparatively insignificant details would come before some very big developments. So I suppose I will just jump in with the *biggest news* first and then go from there.

We are moving. We knew that we would be moving when our lease is up at the end of September, but we thought that we would be moving several blocks away. Nope. We are moving to the other side of the state. I grew up on this side (the west side) and have basically always lived here. It is green and full of trees and mountains and is one of the most beautiful places on earth. Mr. C grew up on the east side and moved over to the west side to go to college, which is where we met, and he has lived here ever since. His parents still live on the east side and for the last 13 years or so we have made periodic trips over there. It is beautiful in its own right: rolling hills that look like dinosaurs lying on their sides, flat expanses of sage brush, BIG sky and open spaces, orchards and vineyards, the wide rolling Columbia, and more stars at night than I can count.

Why are we moving there? Mr. C’s mom (Mothership) owns a business that has grown and been extremely successful over the last 12 years. It has expanded to a point where she is at her personal capacity. My FIL has continued to work full time in his own career and is ready to retire in about 6 months. He could help run the business, but the man really deserves to retire! Recently an opportunity came along that had the potential to essentially double the size of her business. Since she turns enough people away each month to expand by a quarter of her capacity (and at any given time has a waiting list of about 30 people) the expansion is very reasonable in terms of risk. However, she is only one person and the size that her business has grown to a point that is manageable for her. This is where the light bulb went off—what might it look like to have someone else join the business? Since Mr. C has been working in management for the last year and a half, and he was around to help get her business off the ground when she first started and has lent a hand toward various aspects of the business through the years, it occurred to him that he might just be the man for the job.

So we considered it. We tossed around the pros and the cons and the pros far outweighed the cons. And the timing, while fast enough to make my head spin, feels right. Our lease is up here. Offers are on the table there. My new school year is fast approaching and so (was) the amount of time ticking away that would allow me to be released from my contract. While we love many things about living here—our friends and the lifestyle of this beautiful, vibrant city—there are many aspects that make living here difficult. It is very expensive to live here. The median home price in our neighborhood is in the high $400,000 range and that is for a smallish, older home that needs work. I commute almost an hour to work each day with high gas prices. A large part of the strain on the decision to have a family is the astronomical cost of childcare—which would be a must since both incomes are vital. And even though we both work really hard and make decent salaries we continue to struggle and would continue to do so.

And so we made the decision. Life in the east side will be quiet. We will need to make friends and find things to do that are interesting to us. I won’t be teaching and that feels unsettling to me. It will be extremely important that we maintain our connection to each other and our ability to communicate how we are feeling, so that we can meet the challenges head-on rather than letting things build and grow as they did over the last year or so. We have decided to continue seeing our therapists here (all three of them!). We are excited about the challenges and the opportunities ahead. Mr. C already got online to look at houses, and newly built, 3000 sq.ft. homes are priced at around $250,000! There will be no commutes, and when/if the time comes I will be the one caring for my own child(ren). We will also be close to family, which will mostly be a positive thing. Some boundaries will need to be set, but that will be good for us, too. Best of all, we will have the freedom and flexibility to make a change if we choose to. If we decide at some point that we want to move back, or move somewhere else, we can do that.

It is taking some time for this to feel real to me. It was only *officially* decided less than a week ago and in the meantime I have been preoccupied by running around replacing my car and doing a dozen or so other activities that were already in motion. Since I finally had a car to drive as well as a semi-free schedule on Thursday I finally had a chance to drive to the school to tell them. This was the first time I told anyone other than my therapists (we/I told them on Wednesday). It felt good to get it out and to share it with people who really know me, but at the same time it was sad. I will be leaving a part of me at that school. There are still many people to tell, but so far the telling has gone well. The therapists are very supportive. My sister is happy for us, too, and I had anticipated that she might be sad since I will be an additional 3 ½ hours away. But she doesn’t think about it that way. We can always come to Seattle to see each other, so that is no additional time for her. She is also very excited to come and see our new home and visit us there. Today I plan to share the news with the other significant people in my life. There is one conversation that I am not really looking forward to, but it will have to wait until it can happen in person.

Well this has turned out to be an incredibly long post, so the other *news* will have to wait for another time.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Brenda

I don't know if you've been reading my blog at all, but I just wanted to drop a line to you. Wordpress won't let me log in. I'll get it sorted out eventually but for now I can't comment on your blog and it is driving me crazy. I've been thinking about you and checking in on you.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

What country would I be?

I saw this over at Niobe's blog and curiosity got the best of me.



You're Cambodia!

Life's been really rough, but it's slowly improving.  You know
way too much about the skeletal structure of humans, mostly from being forced to study
it.  This has given you a fear of many things, most especially the color red.
 The future has to be more promising though, and your greatest adversary can now
never come back to hurt you any more.



Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid