another sunny sunday

Once again it is Sunday, and I find myself wishing for "just one more day" of the weekend. Next weekend, however, will be a three-day weekend (Monday the 19th is President's Day).

Perhaps that feeling will dissipate now that I am on my campagne to work fewer hours (not a new campagne, of course, but now that the BIG work to get rid of the work has been undertaken, the results should be beginning to take effect).

And my list of things that I would rather be doing with my time is long and very personally fulfilling. Yay. Not the least among them is PAINTING. I have several paintings started, so there is no lack of ideas in this regard. I know that I have said it before, but I LOVE painting. I will post some of my paintings soon.

And then there is the book (I've written about it before, the deconstructed/altered book that I am making for William). And other books that I want to make. I get all butterfly-in-the-stomache feeling, giddy, when I think about it. I love mixed-media work probably as much as I love painting, just in a different way. Painting is a passion and a love that appeals to my need to do things that are challenging technically...to make something that is at once creative and *beautiful* while also being a *likeness* (this is especially so when it comes to a portrait). But mixed-media work and things that are more "crafty" appeal to my sense of fun and art-for-arts-sake...making things that just flow from my heart and mind and hands. If left to my own devises, I would make art all day long. When I was in college, during my last two years of undergrad, I was able to do this. I lived in a studio apartment by myself. I used the large closet for my bedroom (I slept mostly during the daytime, since I was primarily nocturnal, so this worked really well) and the majority of the space in the apartment was covered with ART...canvases and sculptures, and drawings and photographs everywhere. I pretty much ate, drank, breathed, and slept art. Not something I could sustain at that level, since I am such a social person (not in the party-girl-going-out sort of way, just need to have human contact and feel like I am interacting in meaningful ways with people, hense my chosen career).

I also have some projects that I want to do around the house...little things that I want to get done soon, just in case we catch the egg sooner rather than later.

Well, work still exists, so I better finish that grading now before I travel off to sleepyville.

Oh, and not as an afterthought or anything, but I probably should note that today is a very significant day. Today is my Father's birthday. It is also the anniversary of William's burial/funeral. We had mass at a Catholic Cemetary where he is buried in the Guardian Angel section.

since feeling is first

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
—the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

-e.e. cummings

on the other side

I actually did doze off last night when I was in the process of writing that little post.

I read somewhere that it is a "blog rule" not to blog about work. Well, I am feeling the need to get this next part out, so I am giving fair warning that it is about work. Unfortunately, work has been such a gigantic part of my life that it seems that if I didn't blog about it I wouldn't be blogging about my life.

I am feeling this huge sense that I am DONE. The Film Festival is DONE. First semester is DONE (I still have to finish grading the Research Papers that are sitting here next to my chair, but...). Last night Angie stayed extremely late to help me finish moving things from Linda's room, so that is DONE (I will not write/rant about the evil that was done by the teacher moving into Linda's room except to say tht she didn't check with me about whether or not I was done, and threw away things that she had no business to throw away...things that are irreplaceable). I am officially no longer "responsible" for the 10th Grade Advisory and am 99.9% DONE with the 9th Grade Advisory. Hallelujah! Of course there is still a lot to do, my art classes grew so now I have more than 30 new students to get to know and be responsible to. And Contemporary Studies is still a lot of work, but from here to the end of the year is much different than the first semester...we are in a groove, there (unfortunately) are fewer students to manage, and there is not a big event to plan (besides Exhibitions, but that will not be the same as the film festival).

I am feeling this sense that I can start to breathe a little easier now, relax a little more now, focus on my "real life" now.

So that is what I will go do. Now.

sleep...I need sleep

I realize that the past few posts have been the most mundane daily recordings, and almost exclusively consist of reports of where I am, or am not, in my cycle.

But I don't yet have it in me to write much of anything else. I am, once again, so tired that I can barely see straight....what was I writing again?

Today is officially CD 1, since I finally started bleeding for real. And it was 16 dpo, which is still in the "normal" range.

I guess I will adjust my chain tomorrow...it says i should be on 6 dpo.

tomorrow is Friday

I am so tired I can hardly think straight. I plan to go to bed soon. Still no AF...I have half a mind to test, even though I am CERTAIN I am not pregnant. The spotting could have been implantation bleeding...but seriously, I know what it feels like to be pregnant.

"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action." -B. Disraeli

I know this is a lame excuse for a post, but there it is.

Film Festival: Great Success!

"You're happiest when you're making the greatest contribution."
-Robert Kennedy

The Film Festival is finally over! And it went GREAT! It was a great sucess, as Borat would say. The turn-out was much better than I had expected (it looked like between 150 and 200 attendees). And the event itself went smoothly, the kids did just great. Everything looked really good, the films were well received...good.

And I am so tired. Today ended up being a highly emotional day, too, so I am just exhausted.

Still no AF.

OK, time to sleep.

I think I rather like satisfying my desires...

Now that I read it again, today's quote kind of sucks:
"I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than attempting to satisfy them." -John Stuart Mills

Don't get me wrong, it is not that I can't see the wisdom in it, it just doesn't sound like much fun.

Grades are done! No, not 100% done (we were given a bit of extra time for the seniors so that we can enter the film festival grades in as first semester grades) but most of the way done. Done enough to be pretty darn happy now.

Dash found me...what can I say? Maybe I was in denial, definitely smug, but I did think it would take much longer. What was that hint I gave? Hmmmm...well, that's just fine I guess. I like Dash.

I had to go to the dentist today. I really loath the dentist (in general, not personally...today was the first day I really met the guy). He took me into this room before they did my full set of x-rays and did the exam. He talked to me about my experiences and some thoughts he had based on my initial x-rays and whatnot. It went well. It isn't going to be inexpensive...I have insurance, but it still costs quite a bit. But it is necessary, so I will do what needs to be done. He seems like a pretty cool guy, too. He is a painter, and a good one at that. He showed me four paintings that he as up in his office. He paints in acrylic on plexiglass--mostly using reverse painting techniques. Very cool...it gives the paintings this mysterious quality with so much depth.

Lots of new students, from Linda's classes. I hate that thing I have to do to set the "tone" with new students. It isn't as though I have to act that differently, it is just...a lot of work mentally to be so...it's hard to explain. Not only do I have to make everything so over-the-top clear (they don't know all of the classroom routines and expectations, like the other students do, so I cannot speak in any sort of vague terms or even specific terms that they just don't know yet) and I also want to get to know them and for them to get to know me, so I end up spending a lot of time going from person to person making small talk and asking them questions. And, of course, setting behavior expectations too (yes, I am firm...no I really do mean it;yes, I am nice--but no, you cannot take advantage of me or get away with that bullshit).

Still just spotting. But it is still only 13 dpo so I'm not beyond the range of normal. No, not obsessing, just keeping a record.

I picked up the helium tank and carpet again today. Now just as long as it doesn't snow tonight...